That happened to me today in Leawood, Kansas. And the alternate universe was World 4 from Super Mario Bros. 3 on Super Nintendo. That's right, Giant World.
It all started when Ashley and I headed out to Leawood for Liz's bridal shower. Leawood is a suburb of KC that has a lot of big fancy strip malls and such with every kind of chain you could ever imagine.
We started out at a Target Greatland which is basically a supersize Target. We both commented on how huge it was as we wondered through, looking through Liz's registry.
We then had to drive about 15 miles to get to the house the shower was at. During the drive, we first noticed an extremely large Home Depot. Then there was a huge Panera. And then a giant Macy's.
And it just kept going. Over-sized Red Lobster, giant Bank of America, humungous Starbucks. On and on. Everything was just slightly jumbo sized. I started to legitimately wonder if I was getting smaller.
It probably would've been more rational to make a comment on the Super-Size It attitude of American consumers, but instead I just kept screaming to Ashley about how weird this was and how I really felt like I was in Super Mario. I think that's perfectly rational.
Long story short, the burbs are creepy and soul-stealing.
1 comment:
Want to know the differences between the Targets? Well, I'm going to tell you no matter your answer. A Super Target is the top which means it has a grocery store and is a really large Target. A Target Greatland is just a bigger than normal Target (which you were right about). At home in Sugar Land, a soul-stealing burb, we have two Super Targets. Along with two very large Paneras and about five hundred Starbucks. Did you see a Whole Foods? Cause it's not a "real" burb unless it has one of those.
P.S. Did I tell you one of the best things I found out last week? Nick-At-Nite is going to start airing The Nanny in May! I can't wait to fall asleep to Fran every night again!
P.P.S. Did you watch the new ABC Family movie tonight? Not bad, especially when you throw in stars of our childhood like Joey "Woah" Lawrence and Melissa Joan "Clarissa" Hart. I give it a B-.
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