So Close

At the end of this week, the summer craziness of Lost Canyon is ending. I will be writing a celebratory post all about it. And I'm going to get serious about writing on my blog again. I promise.

In the meantime, I just spent half of the $16 I have left in my checking account on James Vincent McMorrow's album. And I don't regret it at all.

(On a related note, my life choices make me really happy. Because I make no money, have a job I love, and can buy music even when I shouldn't completely guilt-free. It's pretty awesome.)

Song(s) of the Day: Old Dark Machine, Sparrow and the Wolf, Follow You Down to the Red Oak Tree, and Red Dust by James Vincent McMorrow (courtesy of NPR's Tiny Desk Concert Series which I love. A lot.)

Dave Ramsey Probs Would Not Approve

I don't really have anything to say tonight, but I just bought a lot of new music and so I want to do a song of the day.

Well, maybe we should talk about how I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to buying music. And books.

It's bad. But we all have our vices, right? RIGHT? Come on, people! Affirm me!

Sometimes you have to buy Matisyahu's newest album. I mean, he's a Hasidic Jewish reggae musician. I need that. And really my one moment of thinking I need it means I buy it because, oh yeah, I can download music on my phone. Horrible idea.

Ah, well. It's better than when I used to spend all the money that I didn't have in college at Streetside Records. I can actually afford this music. So, I've grown. Let's celebrate (with more music)!

Song of the Day: Everything'll Be Alright (Will's Lullaby) by Joshua Radin (I don't think the impact of this song would be as great without the dramatic backlighting and the disco ball. Thanks to whomever is in charge of the lighting.)

PS 22

This post combines 3 of my favorite things in this entire world:

1) Really cute kids.

2) Cheesy pop music.

3) One of those teachers that actually knows kids and takes the time to encourage them to be creative, fun, confident, lovely little beings.

Enjoy Mr. B and the kids of PS 22 in Staten Island.

Check out their blog here.

He's Bringing Sexy Back

I love Justin Timberlake.

It's just a thing of mine. Summer Love comes on and I can't help but just straight jam.

It started with the N'Sync Disney special in the summer of 1998. I was firmly in the middle of my Korn/Limp Bizkit phase (seriously, I was hardcore), but I loved that special. I taped it and watched it over and over.

I realize that N'Sync is cheesy boy band to the extreme, but JT has become seriously legit since. People sometime argue that, but they would be wrong.

And to prove it, here's the duet he sang with Matt Morris on the Haiti telethon. I can't stop listening to it, a) because I love this song (Jeff Buckley sang it first and always best) and b) because it's freaking haunting. Try arguing with me now! (If you need more proof, you can borrow his Live at Madison Square Garden DVD from me. Yes, I own it and it's awesome.)

Hear Me Out

I'm gonna make a statement, and some of you are going to be kind of judgy about it. I would just like to preface this with: I don't care. Be judgy all you want. Because I think you're crazy if you don't agree whole-heartedly with me on this one.

It is perfectly acceptable (and I would say a damn fine idea) to listen to Christmas carols in October.

Again, I realize some of you are screaming out loud right now, but hear me out.

Fall is my favorite season. I love that it's warm in the sun in the afternoon and cold at night. I love that everything turns beautiful, rich, warm colors. I love that you can get pumpkin flavored anything. (I'm drinking pumpkin ale right now. It's pretty good.) I love it all.

However, there is no fall music. There's no Autumn Carols. All that fall has is the Monster Mash and soundtracks of creaky doors and ghosts wailing. That does not really make me want to curl up by the fire with a cup of coffee. It also does not make me want to bake pies and bundle up to play outside.

Christmas carols make me want to do all of those things.

Now, I don't go crazy and put up a tree and start wishing people Happy Holidays (PC) in October. I only listen to Christmas carols when it's cold enough to build a fire in our fireplace and when I'm just chilling in my house.

When the Christmas season really gets into swing, I'll be playing them all the time. For now, I still play the year-round selections at work. That will change as soon as Thanksgiving is over. Then it will be non-stop Christmas joy.

To sum up, Christmas carols in October are like a good movie trailer. They give away just enough to make you want more, but they don't ruin the real thing. Try it this year. See how you like it.

P.S. I treat myself to one (or two) new Christmas albums every year. My favorite last year was the Hotel Cafe one (see below). Please send me suggestions if you've got a favorite.

Song of the Day (last year's favorite): Winter Song by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson (Song starts at 2:50) (See? Enjoyable even in October.) (Watch the actual music video here. It's really cool, but BMG disabled embedding because it would probably be bad to have people promote your artists on their blogs.) (I like parentheses.)

Have You Missed Them?

So, I've been really slacking on putting up songs of the day.  Mainly, that's because I'm really broke and can't afford to waste money on iTunes.  But still, there are a couple of songs that I have been loving recently.  Here's a taste.

The first is by an artist named Keeley Valentino.  My good friend Kathryn and I love to exchange mixes and a song from Keeley's first album was on one she sent me last spring.  I immediately downloaded the album (The Mechanics of Leaving).  It was the soundtrack of my life last summer and I could not stop listening to it for a solid 6 months.  She just put a new CD out called Three Cities and this is a recording of her performing 2 songs off of it: Honesty and Shame on Me 

The second is a song called Brand New Day by Joshua Radin.  I love it because it's sweet and optimistic and it makes me smile when I'm driving and the sun is shining and my windows are open.  

And lastly, the song that for some reason makes my heart ache, Two by Ryan Adams.  This one has been a favorite for awhile (as has Ryan Adams period.)

Can't Read My, Can't Read My

I won't tell you that I love you

Kiss or hug you

Cause I'm bluffin' 

with my muffin, I'm not lying 

I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue gunnin'

Just like a chick in a casino

Take your bank before I pay you out

I promise this, promise this 

Check this hand cause I'm marvelous

Can't read my, can't read my

He can't read my poker face 

(She has got one like no other)

Pa-pa-pa-poker face, pa-pa-poker face

That is lyrical genius, folks.  I really think America is connecting to this song because it speaks to the societal pressures on women to fake an emotional indifference that is supposed to display an ability to reject attachments that are often mistaken for weakness.

Or it's just a catchy beat and Lady Gaga wears funny outfits.  Either way, I'm going to continue to listen to it every morning on my way to work so that I'm in a good mood when I serve people coffee all day.  Thanks, Lady. 

On a related note, why do pop stars get to ignore all rules of modern English and simply create their own slang in order to rhyme?  I mean, bluffin' with my muffin, is not a saying.  It doesn't even mean anything.  But if you ask a middle schooler, they would probably tell you that it means something dirty.  It always does.

Good luck getting Poker Face out of your head!

I Can't Get Enough of Ben Harper

This video is legit beyond legit.

Seriously, I just watched it like 10 times in a row.  Ben Harper is speaking to my heart recently.

I think what gets me about this video is that he's essentially singing an optimistic message:  I shall not walk alone.  And yet, he seems almost desperate.  Unconvinced.  Scared.  Like the idea of having someone to share in his burdens is unbelievable.  The song seems as though it's half a plea, half a praise.

Here's the thing:  my life is awesome right now.  I'm happy, I'm content, I'm everything I want to be.  But I understand the underlying battle against fear, I understand that there will be more nights in my life that are made of tears and sadness and restlessness.  

I understand what the look on his face is.  I understand a single tear at the remembrance of it all.  

I understand.  

I really like music.  And youtube.  And Ben Harper.

(Full disclosure: My emotional connection to this video may also have to do with the fact that the speaker from 1st session last summer in the Canyon played this video one night during his talk.  And that it's 1 AM and I've worked like 60 hours this week.)

I Can't Stop Watching This Video

New Song of the Day: Please Me Like You Want To by Ben Harper ft. Jack Johnson (Please ignore Carson Daly...)

I'll Probably Delete This One

New Kelly Clarkson!  New Kelly Clarkson!  New Kelly Clarkson!

I have many, many guilty pleasures, but Kelly is one of the tops.  I love her.  I sing her songs very loudly while dancing around my house with great abandon.

It's much like this (except normally much louder, people were asleep):

(You'll notice Elvis in the background, also getting down.)

Also, I love Beyonce.  I used to find her personally annoying but then she married Jay-Z (the coolest rapper ever) and put out her fiercest album yet.  

In short, I love the ladies that can belt it.  (You bet Christina's on that list.)  I love pop when it's done by someone who can actually sing.  And these ladies can sing.

Lastly, since nobody ever answers my questions, I'll ask you another one:  What's geekier, this video itself or the fact that I made it?  You be the judge.

My Mental Health Still Concerns Me

I've blogged before about my obsessive tendencies and I've realized today that I left out one of my more consuming obsessions...

Music.

I love music.  I spend a completely inappropriate amount of money on iTunes and, when I lived in Columbia, at Streetside Records.  I can't get enough of it.  My 60 gig iPod is full. (I refuse to get a new one because I have emotional attachments to inanimate objects.)

After Christmas, I banned all but absolutely necessary spending due to the fact that I'm going to be jobless in a week.  At that point, I started a list of the albums I want on iTunes so that I can remember to buy them when I get a job.  It's not like I sat around and thought about it, I just jot down an artist when they come to mind.  It's already got about 20 albums on it.  

I would argue that all this reveals is bad money management and an appreciation for music.  But there's one action that I think puts me back in Twilight-esque danger of OCD.

Every few days, I get stuck on a song.  Sometimes it's the same song for several days in a row, sometimes it's a new one from day to day.  But essentially, I will listen to this song over and over and over all day.  I'll listen to other songs too, but I can listen to one song on repeat up to 10 times in a row.  

In the Canyon, the drive to work took approximately the time of one song (awesome commute).  For a month straight that song was Tyrone Wells' "Sea Breeze."  Literally every time I would get in the car I would restart it.

While I was at home, it was "If I Were a Boy" by Beyonce.  Before that it was "Winter Song" by Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles.  

Today, it is "I Caught Myself" by Paramore.  I love, love, love it.  It's my "I can't possibly imagine being in a relationship where I would be willing to commit" song. 

(I wasn't even going to tell you all it's on the Twilight soundtrack because I feel like I would be judged harshly for that.  But the only video I can find of it is the Twilight video.  So there you go, judge away.  But it's a legitimately good soundtrack, I swear.)

I'll keep you updated on what I'm listening to.  I'm sure you'll be sitting on pins and needles.  (Does anyone know where that saying comes from?  I just spent a while googling it with no success... I can hear you making fun of me in your heads, just so you know.)

*After rereading this post, I realize that it should not be surprising to me that I'm completely broke.  I will buy two albums on iTunes and a book at B&N in one day without blinking and then complain for an hour about having to pay my phone bill.  I should probably feel guilty about this, but it really just makes me want to rejoice in the fact that no one relies on me but me and I can spend my money however I want.  I seriously love my life right now!

Still Stuck

What's love got to do, got to do with it?

What's love but a second-hand emotion?

What's love got to do, got to do with it?

Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?

I've had this song stuck in my head for approximately 5 years now.  Not lying.  I think I can add this to my list of reasons I fear a mental illness.  

The biggest problem is not that this song is super annoying, it's more so that the chorus, those 4 lines I have typed up there, are the only ones of the song that I know.  So I haven't really had a song stuck in my head for 5 years, just a chorus.

Now, normally I combat this by jamming to some sweet tunes in my car.  I am the ultimate car singer.  My friend Zack would tell you that he is.  And he is good.  You can see a sample of his skills at about 3:56 in this video which also features Glen.  To be fair, that doesn't even come close to fully representing Zack's ability to jam in the car.  I have never admired him as much as during the 14-hour road trip we took to Colorado a couple years a go.   

But I think I have him beat.  Case in point: when I was home in MO I actually lost my voice from singing (screaming) Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy" followed by Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" in the car.  You have to be singing pretty loudly to lose your voice in 10 minutes.

It was not pretty.  

But since I don't have a car in NYC, I'm just stuck with "What's Love Got to Do with it?" until I happen upon something catchier.   It's a pretty great song, but 5 years is too long.

Just so you know, I've sung the song (chorus) in my head about 10 times in the time it has taken me to write this post.  Also a few rounds of Fiona Apple's "Criminal" because, uh, it's awesome.

Sing it loud, sing it proud.  That's my new motto.  You can use it if you want.

Much Love.

Warm Weather Always Makes Me Like Country Music

Seriously, what is it about summer that makes me like country? It's a weird thing.

I went home. It was awesome. That's all I need to say. I got to hang out with my family and friends, watch TV, shop, eat at restaurants, watch the Cardinals in HD and enjoy green grass, trees and rain. That is clearly awesome.

Heading back from Missouri, I ended up by myself in a 3-seat on the plane. It was incredible. And I was flying Southwest, who recently switched to general admission seating on their planes. So I was trying to judge how many people were in the waiting area and whether or not the plane would be full so that I could decide whether I wanted aisle or window. It creates a lot of stress for me. But I made the right decision and got to spread out and sleep the whole flight back to Oregon. It was glorious.

That was followed by an incredibly beautiful drive back to the Canyon. The drive from Portland to the Canyon is nothing short of breathtaking. If you get the chance to drive along the Columbia River Gorge at any point of your life, do it. And the sun was setting and casting the most incredible light. It got back to the Canyon just as I started to need headlights. It was perfect. Although, when I got back after 13 hours of traveling, my house was completely empty. I didn't see anyone until the next day, so that was a little bit of a bummer.

I've been in HK every day since because we didn't have a group over last weekend and the mid-week group that's in right now didn't have the Sassy open. The problem is that even though we have a million things that need to be done before our giant family camp this weekend, we can't do any of them because there's a group in. Which means that we're going into HK at 7:00 AM tomorrow and cleaning literally everything in camp. It's going to be crazy.

The good news is we got new slushie machines in the Sassy! Get pumped! Four flavors! Cherry, lemonade, java chip and vanilla latte! The bad news is we are WAY under staffed. We have more and more stuff opened which means everyone is spaced out. This is our biggest group and I have the fewest people working with me. I really don't know what it's going to look like. But I'm sure it will work out. If there's a line, there's a line. It's going to be CRAZY!

Life in the Canyon is good. The weather is incredible. I love it. We have these things called swamp coolers in lieu of air conditioning. I'm a little wary of them, but apparently they result in a quarter of the cost in energy bills and keep you just as cool. Which is exciting. But the phrase "swamp coolers" weirds me out a little.

Bryce is in Europe and I'm jealous.

I love you all!

Missing Missouri

That's the title of a Sara Evans song that came up on iTunes when I typed in "Missouri." Is that a weird thing to do? It's simply because I'm SO excited to be coming home. I'm widely know as "the Missouri girl" around here. Which I love. Hometown pride! Actually, it's a little weirdly obsessive. There are a couple of girls from Missouri coming out this summer on Assignment Team as Work Crew bosses and I totally geeked out when I met them. And then I told all the other interns that there were girls from Missouri here so every time one of them met them they exclaimed about them being from Missouri as well. I think they were really freaked out.

All that to say, I'm coming home! Tomorrow! I'm so excited to get out of the Canyon. I'm anticipating it will be a relaxing, refreshing 6 days. I think it is just necessary to get away every once in a while. It's really easy for things to become routine and mundane here. Our whole lives are here. I forget why I'm doing it sometimes. So I have to get away, go see people who love me and know me well. So I'm pumped.

The past few days have been great. I love spring. I woke up this morning and it was drizzly and awesome. It smelled like spring this morning. This weekend is our first family camp which is a really fun change of pace. Also, we have May Madness in which is a work weekend where people come in and plant flowers in all the flower boxes all around camp. I have asked Curtis like 20 times when we were going to get flowers back so this isvery exciting for me. And probably for him, so that I'll stop asking.

We finally finished Celebration of Discipline in small group. I could not be more stoked about that. Not that it wasn't good, but I was really sick of that book. We're starting a book called To Be Told by Dan Allender for the next 5 weeks. It looks like a really good book so I'm excited. After that, the summer interns will be here so we'll split up. I'm going to be in a group with Lacey, Drew, Becca and Deanna with Jen and Pam. Chris and Leah will have all the other girls in their group. All the groups are going to do a study on James. I'm excited about it although I'm going to miss the other girls.

If you're in Missouri, get pumped to see me because I'm pumped to see you!

Much love.