High School Drama, Real World Prices

OK, so I have been getting some hate mail because it has been so long since I posted. I apologize. It's been a busy few days. But I will not make excuses. I have let you fine people down. I would say it won't happen again, but it might and I like to keep my word.

The big event of the past week was that I got to spend some time in the great state of Missouri! That's right, I was home for the weekend. And let me tell you, it was no easy task to make it there. I left Thursday immediately after work and headed to Portland. I got there at around 8:30 PM and found out that my flight was running really behind so they had switched from a layover in San Francisco to a layover in Sacramento. I caught a 9:30 plane to Sacramento which landed at about 11:00. I left Sacramento at 12:45 AM and landed in Dallas at 5:30. I found an extremely NOT comfy chair and curled up to sleep for a couple of hours. When I went to sleep, the area I was in was pretty deserted so I was sprawled out over a few chairs. When I woke up, the area I was in was pretty packed and I was still sprawled out over a few chairs. Woops.

I finally boarded a plane headed directly to Missouri at 9:30. I landed at the Springfield airport and 10:50 and found my brother passed out in a chair near baggage claim. You see, he had to fly like an hour and half, so he was pretty exhausted.

Anyway, from there we headed to Big Cedar lodge where my stepsister Kelley got married. It was a beautiful wedding and a beautiful weekend and we had a great time. It was good to hang out with the fam.

On Sunday, we headed back to Jeff, so I did get to go home for a while. Craig flew out on Monday, so I drove him up to catch MO-X and got to hang out in CoMO for the afternoon. It was extremely great and comfortable and made me really not want to go back to Oregon. Being home made me realize how uncomfortable I had been here, which was hard. It's definitely been a difficult transition and we're all stressed out trying to get to know one another and build community and learn our jobs, etc., etc. It was so wonderful to spend an easy couple of days back home.

On Tuesday, my dad drove me up to St. Louis, where I hopped a flight to Dallas and then to Portland. (A little less of a trek than the first time.) I got into Portland at 7:00ish and then made the trip back to camp. I didn't run into a single car the entire last hour of my trip. It was dark and creepy and I was excited to finally make it back to the condo.

However, immediately upon arriving I got an earful of all the drama that happened while I was gone. Apparently, there were some pretty impressive fights and basically the stuff had hit the fan. Everyone has hit the point where it's frustrating that this isn't easy, although we all knew it wouldn't be. Nothing's happening the way anyone thought it would and tensions are high.

Today, I had to work to make up for having Monday off, so I was gone most of the day while everyone hung out. We had a meeting to talk about some stuff and people were really honest about being disillusioned with what is going on here. I was really frustrated and flipped into let's fix this mode, although it's not quite that easy.

Although it is drama, I think it's really good that things finally came to a head. I had some really great conversations today and I think that we may have turned a corner of being more real with each other and feeling more comfortable. It has just been such a crazy, overwhelming month and we all need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and let things happen. We just need to have some fun together and get to know each other.

I had a really great talk about all of this with one of the guys here and it definitely shed some light on some things. I constantly pray that I wouldn't live a comfortable life and, yet, when I'm uncomfortable, I hate it and do everything I can to gain comfort again. When I'm seeking my own comfort, I end up selfish. I realized today that if I want a community here that is loving and welcoming and inviting, I need to shut up and make that happen. So, I'm gonna. Hopefully.

Anyway, that's the high school drama that's happening here right now. The price we pay to live together, work together and worship together.

The staff kids came trick-or-treating tonight and it was extremely cute. They are a really fun bunch. Several of us ate dinner together at the boys' condo and then Kristen and I attacked people with the Sock 'Em Boppers. There was then an intense game of Sorry in which Darren came from way behind to win it. It was my kind of night.

However, I then had to figure out how to pay my bills because we got paid today. It's hard and not fun to be a grown-up and try to figure out where your money should go. And I'm trying to book my plane ticket home for Christmas and they're ridiculously expensive! I don't know how people do it. Luckily, it costs like nothing to live here. I bought $27 worth of groceries the other day that will last me 2 weeks. So, I'm not complaining.

Also: I am going to make a bold statement right now. Missouri is the best state ever. The trees are pretty and the people are nice. What more could you want?

I miss you all and I have to constantly fight the urge to pack up and come home to you. Luckily, you're all going to come visit so I don't have to. Right? Right?

I love you all. Send me emails and update me on your lives.