Life

Life continues to be crazy. And because of this, I do not get to connect with you, internet world, as much as I would like to. But I wanted to take a minute to give you a quick glimpse into what life is like right now and why I'm so in love with my job.

Here's a little story of how everything good is also hard and how an abundance of riches is always right in front of us if we think to ask for them:

I was having one of those moments last night. I was home by myself and I was exhausted and felt like I was completely and utterly alone. And I just kept thinking over and over how badly I needed a little piece of encouragement, anything to tell me why I'm doing what I'm doing. Anything that would say that what I do and who I am matters.

Like everything in life that is good, my job is also hard. I want to be purposeful. All the time. I want to be able to see what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. That's why I moved away from a home and people I love. That's why I put my college degree to work cleaning toilets.

And it feels like I've been waiting. Just waiting for summer, when everything here makes sense. When we do what we're made to do. I plan, I set goals, I get excited, I expect big things.

And then summer comes, and I feel pretty sure I'm failing at every goal I've set. My staff seems miserable and stressed. I barely know my Work Crew girls. My Summer Staff girls may or may not hate being in the Laundry. And it feels like there's nobody here to help shoulder the burden.

I'm exhausted and I feel invisible.

So last night, I prayed for encouragement. I prayed to know that there was some purpose to me doing all of this.

And then today I got to drive a golf cart in a 4th of July parade featuring every single camper (all special needs kids this week). And I got to watch them smile and cheer and chant and be excited to be in this place. I got high fives and smiles and hugs.

I spent a whole lot of time laughing because my co-workers are really funny. I got a pretty kick-ass Columbia pull-over from the Assignment Team because people do actually see that I'm here.

I remembered that big things happen here almost every moment. Kids get to be kids. They get to play and laugh. And it turns out it doesn't really matter if I'm awesome at my job as long as that keeps happening. If one kid gets to come here and know for sure that someone loves them, that's enough.

Ask and you shall recieve.