I got a text from my friend Mandi today saying, "Bachelor tonight? Someone's pregnant!" Apparently, there have been previews on ABC of someone telling Jake they're pregnant. Now, I'm a savvy enough (and veteran enough) Bachelor viewer to not believe the tricky preview editing. I was right, nobody revealed any buns in the oven this episode. But that did not mean we were lacking on drama.
There were 3 dates tonight. The first was a one-on-one with Vienna. Here's the thing with Vienna: I find her a little personally annoying. Also, she's 23 and it shows. I would be on board with not liking her. However, the other girls have decided to gang up on her in a move that feels a little bit like hating the kid that reminds the teacher they didn't hand out homework. Of course that's annoying, but it's just kind of dumb, not malicious. She's clearly just a bit of a snotty princess who doesn't realize it. I feel a little bad for her.
Not bad enough that I think she should get a rose, though. She didn't really have anything interesting to say the entire date, but they did go bungee jumping and Jake for real almost peed his pants. I mean, he was shaking and probably crying. I love that he's kind of a nerd.
She got a rose, she got to stay, the other girls spent the rest of the show alternately whining about her, talking trash about her to Jake, and being mean to her face.
Next was the group date which was, wait for it, a trip to John Lovitz's comedy club! Hmmm.... Not the best date they've ever come up with. However, it was awesomely awkward when they made each of the girls get up and do a stand-up comedy routine in front of an audience. None of them were funny, a couple of them were kind of vulgar, Ashleigh cried and then told some blonde jokes, Michelle was awkward, and Corrie spent her whole time mocking the other girls. I do not see a future as a comedienne for any of them.
They all went to booze it up at some hotel afterward, and it was horribly unfun for any of them. During one-on-one time, Tenley finally told Jake about her cheating ex-husband (who has to feel like a huge doucher at this point) and Ali talked trash about Vienna (why are you talking about other girls in your one-on-one time?).
Oh, yeah, and Michelle went home.
Yeah, and it was everything I wanted it to be.
First, she cried because she wasn't getting any time with Jake. Then, she finally got it and told him she was again thinking about leaving, to which Jake was internally saying "please do." She then spent a few minutes talking about how it was her turn to find love and have babies because her brother already has. (Is there a line we're waiting in that I don't know about?) She has yet to come across as anything other than desperate or crazy.
She finally asked Jake if she could kiss him so that she could see if there was chemistry. She then molested his face, while he tried valiantly to keep it as chaste and closed-mouth as possible. It was SO awkward. I loved every second of it. Then she told him she needed him to beg her to stay, to which he replied she should probably go home. She cried and acted shocked. She is so nuts. I mean, multiple restraining orders nuts. She needs her own show.
After that, Jake called it a night and peaced out, which seems fair.
The last date went to Ella who is the sweet, southern single mom. They went to Sea World and Jake (producers) surprised her by bringing her son Ethan. As much as they're exploiting children and you probably shouldn't bring your son on a first date, I love it when they do this. The kid was seriously cute, and Ella continued to show that she was about 90 times more mature than the other women. Seriously, they're all talking shizz about Vienna and she's talking about having a father for her son and knowing what she wants in a man. I still like her, although I'm not sure he'll pick her.
The cocktail party was short and sweet. Jake called Elizabeth out for being a tease, which is a term I normally don't like, but actually completely applies in this situation. She got pissed and cried, and this was somehow all Vienna's fault. (Again, I don't even like Vienna, but seriously?) He ended up sending Elizabeth and the one girl left whose name we didn't even know home.
It's down to nine and getting even more dramatic. I love Mondays!
2 comments:
I usually know who all the girls are at this point, but who the hell was that one girl he sent home last night? She had an odd name and that's something I usually remember him saying at a rose ceremony. Then he told her to take care of her family when she left. There was a story there that the producers didn't push.
And what's the story with Ella's baby Daddy? She hasn't said anything about that, so I don't think it's the tragic story we experienced last season with the father dying in the plane crash.
I think I would feel bad for Vienna except for two reasons:
1) In the first episode they showed her at home with her little, annoying, carry in your purse type dog. She was french kissing it and saying she wanted to bring home a Dad for her DOG! (Not quite the same situation as Ella)
2) She's not pretty! I mean lay off the green eyeshadow.
Michelle might be the craziest woman they've ever had on that show. The one-on-one time with her and Jake last night was classic. I can't wait to see what they'll do with it on The Soup!
I absolutely adore Bachelor blog posts, they are just the right amount of juicy details and delightful Kate commentary, but I swear if they get any better I'm going to have to start watching this show! and my GPA fears that day.
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