Christmas Traditions

I felt old at Christmas this year.  I feel old a lot of times lately, but I felt like Christmas was a little bit of a slap in the face.  I'm kind of a grown-up.  That doesn't stop being weird.

What made this evident this year was the gradual loss of many of our family traditions.  As we all grow up and create our own lives and our own families so far removed from the families of our home, we lose a lot of what we once did and had.  I think I see this especially because I'm the youngest.  There's no holding on to these things for anyone younger than me.  They're just gone.

In most instances, I don't mind.  One example is our Christmas tree.  My brother, mom and I have had a tradition of putting up our tree with all of our childhood ornaments on it every year.  It is truly a hideous tree.  There are homemade ornaments and ornaments that came in cereal boxes that somehow took on sentimental meanings.  There are ornaments marking random events in our lives such as a musical I was in at the age of 8 and my brother's first Christmas.  (He was born in November so he has a million baby's first Christmas ornaments while I have none, having been born in February.  This is a fact that bred pretty extreme jealousy in me in my younger years.)

We always made an evening of decorating the tree.  We would play Christmas music and put an excessive amount of lights on the tree and it was fun.  We even did it last year when I was only home for a little over a week. 

This year it just didn't happen.  My mom had put up a pretty tree instead and was willing to take it down to let us put up ours, but I didn't even really want to.  It made me a little sad, like I was leaving a little piece of me behind.

It's a weird place to be in life.  I feel like I'm in between lives.  My childhood life: the constancy of it, family and friends and the place I grew up in.  And eventually my adult life: career and family, friends and a home.  I don't really have either of those right now.  At least not in any constant way.  My old traditions are fading and, unlike my older siblings, I don't have new traditions to replace them yet.  It doesn't actually bother me, it's just a weird place to be.  

I spent years and years hating the feeling of inexperience and childhood.  I wanted to be grown up, I wanted to be respected.  I wanted to know it all.  I'm happy to grow up.  I'm happy to have the sense of self that age brings, to feel my life take on direction, to leave behind the mood swings and insecurity of adolescence, to trust in my place in this world and in the lives of the people around me.  I realize I still have a lot to learn and a lot of growing to do, but I'm enjoying figuring it all out.

Despite all of this, there is the littlest piece of me that is scared to leave behind the irresponsibility of youth.  I have complete responsibility over my life, a fact that I mostly love.  My parents could probably tell you how much I have fought to control every piece of my life for a long time now.  There was never really telling me to do anything I didn't want to or stopping me from doing something that I wanted to do, not that they sought to do that too much.  Even so, it's a little scary.  More exciting, but a little scary.  

I think it's just the transition that has me scared.  Something about this one feels a little more serious.  It feels a little more like settling.  It's that fact that's so scary.  Nothing scares me more than the fear that I'll wake up in 20 years and be dissatisfied with my life, feel like I haven't done all the things I wanted to do.  I want to travel the world, see and do everything that I possibly can, but I also want roots, deep friendships, a real and settled life.  It's a balance I haven't remotely figured out how to strike yet.  But it's what I desire.

So I guess I'm not as grown up as I think, not quite as settled as I envision myself.  But, man, I want it all.  Is that too much to ask?  I hope not.  

On to KC, ready to see what life brings...

I Forgot How Lazy I am

There is something about being home that makes me want to do nothing but be incredibly lazy.  I mean, it is seriously impressive how little I can do.  After the few days of holiday festivities, I have done absolutely nothing but eat impressive amounts of food, watch ridiculous quantities of TV and sleep (and sleep and sleep).  Oh, I've also read a couple of books, but really not as many as you would expect.  Because even reading is a little too taxing for me these days.

My brother and sister are enablers.  They have been in on it every step of the way with me.  Yesterday was the worst day.  Not only was there a Project Runway marathon on (which I watched literally all of, from 11:00 AM to 11:00 PM), but there was also a Jon & Kate Plus 8 marathon AND a Deadliest Catch marathon.  All of this on top of the Mizzou game.  I contemplated using the picture in picture, even though I think that's the dumbest TV feature ever.  

I ended up mainly watching Project Runway because it was the season I had missed while at Wildhorse.  But I had to flip during the football game.  And when both of those were over, I switched to Jon & Kate Plus 8, which was on until 2:00 AM.  Aaaahhh.  That is not good.  

I have left the house to go to a couple of Mizzou basketball games.  My dad has a suite for his business which is fun but makes me feel old and miss college.  But at least I had to wander out of doors to get there.  

Life in MO....  Love it and hate it, all at the same time.

Victory is Mine

Well, I did it.  I have everything I own in transit from New York to Missouri and I only had to pay the regular $15 charge to get it there.  (I won't even start on the new $15 for one bag charge.  I'm getting closer and closer to moving off the grid and only posting about ways that I'm scheming to screw the man.  And about my solar and wind-powered energy sources because how else am I going to post off the grid?)

Back to my victory.

First, there was basically a cab waiting outside my door for me, even though it was raining.  This was a good sign.  I made it to LaGuardia and went to the ticket counter with my awesomely over-stuffed bags.  I was initially 5 pounds over.  No problem, I had a plan.

I began stuffing things into my carry-ons and the nice lady ended up giving me 1/2 pound worth of leeway.  I made my way to my plane, hopped on and am now in the Pittsburgh airport with all of my stuff, basking in the glory that is free airport wi-fi.

You're probably wondering how I did.  And I have an answer.  I put everything that was remotely heavy (i.e. all of my books) in my carry-ons, which now look like this:

And consequently weight more than my checked bag.  (Take that USAirways!)

Also, this apparently counts as one carry-on (or "personal item" if you will):

This bodes well for my Christmas holiday.  I will be watching too much TV and annoying my brother very soon.  MO, here I come!

I Have TOO MUCH STUFF!

I started packing and I am again blown away at my ability to accumulate crap.  I was here for 2 and a half months and I gained a significant amount of stuff.  Stuff that I now have to cram into a suitcase and get back to Missouri.  But luckily, I have a blog to allow me to procrastinate from trying to figure it out!

Remember when it was finals that I procrastinated from?  This is so much better!  The biggest advantage of being out of college: no ever-present test/project/presentation/vast amount of reading looming over your head.  It is blissful.

Speaking of vast amount of reading, this is the pile of books I have after 2 months in NYC:

And this is the single (already full) suitcase that I'm trying to stuff them all into along with that pile of clothes next to it, and some Christmas presents, and some (=a whole lot of) other random crap I don't have room for:

Who wants to take bets on whether or not I can talk my way out of paying the $115 it costs to have an overweight suitcase?  Remember, I'm not that smooth.  But people do pity me occasionally, so I have that going in my favor.  

  

Back to the grind.  But home tomorrow!  So pumped!

P.S.  I hope this is not the only time in my life that I have to make everything I have to live off of fit in a single suitcase.  It's actually ridiculously fun.  I kind of love my life!

Big Apple Santas

New York would be the most soul-crushing place to be a child around Christmas. You might think I'm crazy for saying this because of the EXTREME amount of Christmas cheer the city of New York displays. You would be right about that. But I'm going to relate a story that proves my point.

Last night, I headed out to Brooklyn to hang out with my friend Lacey. To get there, I have to walk 2 blocks south from my apartment, get on the A train and then walk another 2 blocks to her apartment in Brooklyn.

During this short time out in the world, I saw 4, yes 4, Santa Clauses. The first one was walking down the street with his beard hanging around his chin, cursing at someone on his cell phone. The next 2 were on the subway platform. One was showing a whole lot of butt crack and the other was attempting to hit on 2 women standing near him. The 4th was wrapped in twinkling lights and passed out on another subway platform I passed while inside the A train.

This was equal parts hilarious and sad. There was a little girl sitting near me and I wanted to cover her eyes. But in all honesty, she didn't really seem to care. New York kids are more cool than me.

Oh, well. Back to Missouri in a few days where you never see drunken, homeless Santas. Bittersweet.

The Books of Kate, Chapter 1

First of all- Paige, your guess was absolutely right. I love the down time!

On to the blog...

This is the inaugural (and possibly only, depending on how fun this is) book review that I will post on my blog. As previously stated, I've been reading a ridiculous amount because I nanny for a 4-month old and am living in a strange city. I have a lot of time to obsessively read books.

I'm going to start with the book I finished most recently. It is The Reader by Bernard Schlink. I am a product of modern culture and my iGoogle news feed normally shows me more hollywood news then anything in the literature category, so I heard of the movie version of this story before I had heard of the book.

I began hearing the hype for this movie and have read several good reviews. So I knew I had to read the novel. I always want to read the books and see the movies both. However, the order in which I do these things is very important to the story. If I see the movie first, I get a lot less enjoyment out of the book. It's hard for me to read books when I have a clear picture of the story already in my mind.

If I read the books first, I can still enjoy the movies. I love to see if the moviemakers had the same vision of the story I did or how it differs.

All this to say, when I started seeing previews for the movie and saw that Kate Winslet (love her!) was starring in it, I knew I should pick up the book. So I headed to my neighborhood B&N and picked it up.

Unfortunately, the paperback version with Kate Winslet on the front of it was way cheaper than the non-movie pimping version of the book, so I had to buy it. I always try to buy the one that makes me look like I was cool and read the book before Hollywood realized it was good enough to make into a movie. Impossible in this case.

This was an interesting book for me. It's set in post-Holocaust Germany. It's divided into 2 parts. The entire first part wasn't really doing it for me. His writing was fairly compelling, but I didn't understand the characters at all. I wasn't really loving it.

Then I got to the second part of the book and I was in love. There are two main characters. We see the story through the eyes of Michael Berg, who is a pubescent boy in the first part of the book. He falls in love (and lust) with an older woman named Hanna. Their affair settles into a routine which includes after-school shower, sex and Michael reading aloud to Hanna. He did this to appease her, but didn't understand why she enjoyed hearing the stories he was reading in school and his other favorites.

I didn't understand Hanna in the first part of the book. She was cold and often mean, although she also seemed to actually care about Michael. She seemed typical, slightly weathered and lacking depth.

In the second part of the book, Michael is a law student covering the trial of several female SS guards that let hundreds of women under their supervision die in a fire. One of the defendants is Hanna. He never speaks to her, but he comes to the trial every day. Hanna seems resigned, she takes responsibility for the things she did and disputes accusations that are false. She doesn't seem to have a thought of strategy.

Michael doesn't understand Hanna. Her answers begin to not make sense. The others make her the scapegoat, marking her as the ringleader. She won't dispute it and Michael finally puts all the pieces together to realize why. He discovers that Hanna is illiterate and the pieces of her life begin to fall into place in his head.

This is where the book struck me. Hanna is an unsympathetic character, someone you don't really care about because you don't really understand her. The unveiling of this one secret changes all of that. Her whole life is dictated by trying to hide her one secret. Bernie (that's what I call him) puts it so powerfully when he describes Hanna at her trial:

"She was not pursuing her own interests, but fighting for her own truth, her own justice... It was a pitiful truth and pitiful justice, but it was hers, and the struggle for it was her struggle.

She must have been completely exhausted. Her struggle was not limited to the trial. She was struggling, as she always had struggled, not to show what she could do but to hide what she couldn't do. A life made up of advances that were actually frantic retreats and victories that were concealed defeats."

Hanna was convicted based on her own admissions and sent to prison where she died.

I understand Hanna.

How often are our frantic retreats disguised as advances? How often do we struggle to create our own truth, our own justice, no matter how pitiful? The lies that we tell the world truly cripple us.

There were some other interesting passages exploring the collective responsibility of the people of Germany for the Holocaust, how the sins of the parents effect the children. Michael was too young and too rich to be directly effected by the Holocaust, but it was part of his consciousness none the less.

In summary, stick with it. It's worth it. Beautiful characters, quick read. I'm excited to see the movie.

Sometimes Facebook is Mean

I wish facebook would be a little more judicious with what it puts on my newsfeed. Sometimes it just seems vindictive. There are some things I just don't need to be alerted to. What did I ever do to you, Facebook?

Please excuse me. I have some thumbs-down icons to click on.

Guess!

I hate it when people make me guess things.  When I'm in a conversation with someone and they say anything along the lines of, "...and you'll never guess what he got me for my birthday.  No, seriously, guess!  It was the most heinous present ever!  You'll never get it!  Guess!", I get very annoyed.  Why would I want to engage in a game I have no chance of winning?  Also, I hate to break it to you, but if I'm going to take the time to think of what would've truly been the most heinous gift ever, it's going to ruin your story.  Because when you reveal it was actually a pair of crocs after I guessed artful nude picture of his parents, it's going to steal your thunder.  

That being said, I think we should play a guessing game!  All about me!

I'm going to write about what goes on during my days and I'm going to let you guess what result this has on my life.   After reading, attempt to finish this sentence:  Because of the circumstances of Kate's life, she...  

I wake up in the mornings and the apartment is quiet.  I shower, eat my yogurt with granola (and blueberries on special days) and generally try to be quiet so as not to disturb everyone else sleeping.  

When the baby wakes up, Kelley feeds her and I go to get us coffee.  I come back and play with Isabelle for a while and then she goes to sleep.  I do the dishes and on some days, a load of laundry.  Other days there are as many as 4 shirts for me to iron.

I check my email, see that there's one from my mom and 4 junk mails.  I check google reader.  I see that up to 2 of the blogs I subscribe to have been updated.  I check facebook.  People I don't really know have been tagged in some pictures.  I peruse msn articles, reread last Sunday's PostSecrets and guiltily browse pink is the new blog.  I realize that not that much has happened in the 8 hours I was asleep.

Isabelle wakes up.  She eats, plays and is ready to nap again.  There is normally a walk in there somewhere.  I do another round of internetting.  Still nothing happening.

Main point:  Isabelle's asleep over half of the day.  And I have to find ways to quietly keep busy.

After I get done working at 5:00, we eat dinner.  Sometimes the TV is on, often it isn't.  I spend a good couple of hours in my room alone every night.  The internet is spotty everywhere in the apartment, but rarely works in my room.  Sometimes I go to Starbucks or wander through stores and stuff in my neighborhood.  Sometimes I meet my few friends here for dinner, movie, general hanging out.  (That last point doesn't really help with the guessing game, but I added it so I didn't look pathetic... I do have friends.  And I go to a lot of museums and stuff by myself on the weekends.  It's fun, I swear.)

In summary, my life consists of a lot of quiet and a lot of down time.

What do you think that means for my life?  Can you finish the sentence?  If you know me at all, you should get this...

Alright, the answer is...

Because of the circumstances of my life, I...

read.  A ridiculous amount.  (If you guessed overindulge in celebrity gossip or briefly considered and subsequently rejected the idea of internet chat rooms, you would also be right.)

(Did you win the game?)

I've read 10 books in the last 8 weeks.  And that's not counting the fact that I've read more than one of them twice in that time period.  (I won't say which ones I've read twice because that's embarrassing.)  I also have read every newsweek I've gotten cover to cover, even the boring articles.  

I would say I read more than the average person anyway, but this is excessive even for me.  As a way to stave off the boredom, I'm going to review the books I've read for you so that you can pretend like you've read them if you're too busy to read yourself.  (Don't get too excited though, I don't exactly have high-brow taste in literature.)

I briefly considered starting a new blog devoted completely to this task, but then I realized that no one would take the effort to click on the link, and even if they did, it would be a one-time thing.  So, I'll put them here.  Enjoy.

 

P.S.  I've recently discovered my love for linking.  I appreciate when people take the extra time to show me exactly where I can find more on whatever they're talking about.  It's just considerate.  Also, it makes your blog look cooler.  What other reason do you need? 

I Actually Have a Subscription to Newsweek

OK, so I'm not a political blogger.  Nobody wants to read that.  The only thing I want to read on blogs is funny/embarrassing personal stories, inane griping about non-important annoyances, or stories about travels or other cool things in the blogger's life that make me jealous.  Most of the time, I don't really care about people's overly arrogant, I-know-what's-up musings on the state of world.  I believe that any opinion given without some degree of humility is faulty, no matter how much I agree with what's being said.

That's pretty much why I don't blog about my personal political convictions.  I haven't really found the way to do that with the appropriate amount of humility.  That being said, I want people to be engaged, if only the maybe 6 people that read my blog.  So, I'm just going to post this newsweek article, strongly encourage you to read it and tell you that I think it makes a lot of sense.

I think we're facing something in our nation right now that could be a huge turning point.  I think we're going to look back on this in 50 years and either be ashamed at the stance we took or proudly tell our children how we fought for personal freedoms.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I hope I'm not.  I implore you to be engaged, be thoughtful, tap into compassion and understanding, and then take a stance that represents all of that, whatever it may be.

Love you all!

 

Life Plans

I just spent 2 days at my step-grandparents' house in Illinois and it was the most relaxing couple of days I've had in a long time.  I spent the entire 2 days reading, chatting, watching the squirrels, eating, sleeping, and often simply sitting in silence.

I'm spending a lot of time in the last couple of months trying to decide what kind of goals I want to meet in the next couple of years/rest of my life.  You know, developing a life plan and such.  I don't really know much yet, but I do know that one of my goals is to create a home that is relaxing and hospitable.  

I want complete strangers to come to my home and instinctually feel like they are at home and can relax.  I know this is possible not only from my grandparents but also from a woman named Marianne Walker.  Marianne lives in Sisters, OR which is a couple of hours from Wildhorse.  She has opened her house to the staff.  I went there several times and had pretty much the same experience as I did at my grandparents' every time.

After closely observing, I have discovered some keys to creating this kind of environment:

1) Fully stocked fridge/pantry that is offered sincerely and often.

2) Comfy beds

3) A willingness to chat/play games, but the ability to go about your daily life and let your guest sit around and do nothing

4) Quiet...  Soft music or background news channels/sitcom reruns are fine, but not too loud and not all day.

5)  A porch, yard, patio, neighborhood sidewalks, etc.

6)  Many books/movies or easy access to a Blockbuster and a B&N

7)  Baked goods and candy bowls.

That's all it takes people.  And really, you don't even need all of them.  You can have any combo of the above and still have the same effect.

See me when I own a home and we'll see if I've met this goal.

One week until I'm back in Missouri!  Come see me!

In the Cookies of Life, Friends are the Chocolate Chips

I have realized that the only thing that really makes life entertaining is friends.  I live in the most exciting city in the world and I really don't do that much because I don't know anybody.

I actually really love being on my own.  I could sit in my house by myself for days and be happy.  I love going to museums and shopping by myself.  But all of that is so... peaceful.  Everything truly fun or exciting or entertaining that ever happens to me happens in the presence of other people.  

All this to say, I'm excited to come home and to spend some serious time just hanging out.  There's really nothing better.

Oh, and the title of this post comes from a mug that was in our cupboard at Wildhorse.  I used it often because it cracked me up... We had the most random dishes/utensils in our kitchen (including an ice tea maker and a giant griddle but no whisk... only the essentials).

Miss you all.  See you soon!

I Heart New York

I had the ultimate in New York experiences today.  That's right, the event to beat all events that firmly says, "You are in New York.  And it is fabulous."

You've heard me right... I passed Sarah Jessica Parker on 5th Ave. and she smiled at me.

Coupled with the fact that I literally ran into Chris Noth (Mr. Big) on Broadway just a couple of weeks ago, I feel that my New York experience is now complete.

I have to say though, it has made me realize how much I'm going to miss the city.  I was never particularly drawn to New York.  I always wondered why people who lived there loved it so much.  But now I understand.  It gets into your skin.  The crowd, but the ability to be alone within it.  The hundreds of different languages, cultures, colors that I walk past every day.  The crowded subway, the noise.  I seriously love it all.

And it's capped off by a walk down 5th Ave. on a beautiful day and SJP.  Perfect.

(Obsessive) Compulsive

I was laying in bed last night and actually ended up in a slight panic about my mental health.  Calmer heads have prevailed this morning, but it wasn't pretty there for a while.

This all started with something that I'm embarrassed to admit publicly, but I'm going to anyway.  And since only my brother and Liz read my blog, I'm not that worried.  So here it is... I'm hooked on the Twilight books.  I'm ashamed.  I had to go to the teen section at Barnes and Noble to buy them.  I fully blame the hype for the movie on all of this.  

Here's the story:

I was in the B&N a couple blocks from my apartment the other day looking for a book.  I had just finished a collection of short stories called Olive Kitteridge that was only so-so.  So it was time for a good, easy to read, modern work of fiction.  (Side note:  I actually have a pretty consistent cycle of book reading:  Classic, non-fiction, short stories, modern novel.  I don't really plan it but that's how it tends to work out.)

I had come in thinking I was going to get a book called A Year of Fog which I had almost bought when I picked up Olive Kitteridge instead.  I knew where it was at, towards the back of the store.  As I was headed back, I passed the display of Twilight books.  This is a smaller Barnes and Noble so they didn't have the entire series displayed there.  In my initial defense, I didn't even realize at this point that this was a book that would normally require placement in the teen section.  All I knew was that it was really popular and had just come out as a movie.  

Long story short, I passed on Year of Fog and walked with already a little bit of shame to purchase Twilight.  I go in this B&N frequently and I didn't want them getting the wrong idea about my reading habits, especially when I already have the classic I want to read next (Emma) so they won't see me buying that.  But I swallowed my pride and bought the book, knowing it would be an easy read.

I finished it 5 hours later.  (At 2:30 in the morning.  On a Monday morning.)

I packed the baby up as soon as I could the next morning and went to the bigger B&N in Union Square so I could get the second book of the series in paperback.

I finished that one the next day.

The next 2 books are hardback which I refuse to buy.  But I want to.  Badly.

Here's the problem:  The books aren't even that good.  I mean, they're angsty, teenage, vampire romances.  I should not want to read them.  I'm actually ashamed that I am reading them. Really, look at the cover:

It has many, many fansites with people who border on clinically insane discussing every minute detail of the book.

I am 23 years old, I should not want any part of this.

But I opened the flood gates.  I read the first book.  Now I have to finish the series.  

This brings us to my slight panic attack last night.  I was laying there in bed thinking about how badly I wanted to read the third book.  I kept reminding myself of my firm paperback-only rule due to my serious lack of funds.  (I can't cut out buying books altogether, so I think the no hardbacks rule is a good compromise.)  The thing is I was seriously considering getting out of bed, changing back out of my pajamas and going to B&N to buy the third book.  I almost had myself convinced this was a good idea.

Then I remembered something I learned in Psych 1000 freshman year of college.  We were studying OCD and talking about the fact that everyone has compulsions.  What makes compulsions bad is when they become obsessive, when they actually interfere with your day-to-day life, relationships, etc.  I was then flooded with memories of the many times that I have silenced my phone when I was in the middle of a book, even if I had plans with someone.  Also, the times that I forgot to eat dinner or stayed up all night even when I had to work the next day.  At various points, I have stayed home from school/pretended I was sick in order to finish books.  I would say it definitely falls into the "disrupting normal life" category. 

I sometimes literally can't put a book down.  And my true downfall is the series.  If I start one of the Harry Potters, I have to read through to the end of the series.  This could mean a week of refusing to see my friends, depending on what book I started with.  And I've read those several times.  It is not good.  And it's the same with movies.  I don't fall asleep during movies, I don't leave in the middle of them, I make people pause them if I have to take a phone call or something.  I have to know the end of the story.

After a lot of soul searching, I have some to a couple of conclusions:  1) I am willing to openly admit that I do have a compulsion and 2) I have always easily justified it because books make you smart.  And while I'm probably not going to stop compulsively reading any time soon, I am now resolved to start answering the phone even when in the middle of a book.  Or at least calling people back when I get to the end of the chapter and joining them in real life.  Because books aren't friends and I don't want to end up not being able to leave my house without pulling in and out of the garage 72 times.  It's a slippery slope people.

Life is weird.  Love you all.

I'm Unpacking my Sweaters!

If you're one of those people who gets really snotty about the fact that we have started celebrating the Christmas season before Thanksgiving, stop reading now.  You're not going to like what I have to say.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!

I love everything about it.  I have purchased my first new Christmas CD of the year (This Warm December featuring Jack Johnson, G. Love and many others of the same... Love it!), I have been anxiously watching the progress of the decorating of the Rockefeller Center tree on the news (it got its 10 foot, crystal encrusted star today), I've been taking walks down fifth ave. to see the Christmas displays popping up in the store windows, I've been over-emailing my parents asking them when family christmas is and what exactly our plans are, I have a wicked cold, I rejoiced over the first flurries today (which I didn't even see but Lacey texted me about), and I've been coming up with AWESOME ideas for presents for everybody (which I probably won't be able to afford, sorry).

I have to say, this city gets into the Christmas spirit.  I love it!  There are constant Christmas carols and Christmas decorations and Macy's.  I'm not going to lie, I really want to see the Rockettes.  There's even a Broadway show called Irving Berlin's White Christmas (or Winter Wonderland, idk).  FYI, the Rockefeller tree this year was cut down from the yard of a woman who planted it 60-something years ago after it was the Christmas tree in her home for her, her husband and her children.  She told her whole family that one day it would be the tree in Rockefeller Center.  She passed away but her sons were there to see the tree be cut down and shipped off to Rockefeller.  I love it.  This is an idea of what we're dealing with:

(This isn't this years, but you get the idea.)

I have also been wanting to bake everything I possibly can, but I don't really have people to bake for, so I may be sending some of you cookies.  But don't count on anything because I've had a credit card bill that has needed to go in the mail for like a week now, but I have to walk 2 blocks to the post office and actually put it in the mail box.  Now, I have no problem walking 6 blocks for the good ice cream, but for some reason I'm indignant about the mail thing.  And who doesn't let you pay bills online now?  The answer is River Region Credit Union.

Anyway, I hope if you're reading this I will get to see you over Christmas.  I will be in MO for a few weeks at least which will be amazing after so long away.  I will also be back out on the west coast at some point but I don't know when.  So that covers most, but nowhere near all of the people I love.  Pencil me in!

Also, my mom sent me Toms in the mail today.  Isn't she hip?  You're the best, Mom!  I love you!

Peace and love and happy holidays to you all!

Things I Would Kill For...

1) Good internet... Between everyone skyping all day and watching entire movies hence slowing down the internet connection to complete uselessness at Wildhorse and my neighbor's crappy stolen signal here in NYC, I have endured a year and a half of completely horrible internet.  I just want to be able to watch TMZ videos and read the new PostSecrets in a timely manner.  (Don't judge.)

2) Panera.  There is no Panera in NYC but there is a restaurant where you can play Bingo while being served your dinner by transvestites.  Come on.

3) Good avocados.  This is my one west coast hold-over.  I miss them in my tummy.

4) All American companies to observe the same holiday time off as state universities.  You would obviously get paid over-time if you chose to work the summer term, but no pressure.

5) Unlimited access to any and all downloads on iTunes for a price of say $10/month.  This would save me a pretty significant amount of money.

This is all I ask for people.  Really, is it too much?  

Pictures!

Some pictures from the week of friends in NYC...

Being blown away on top of the Empire State Building

Brooklyn Bridge

Delicious desserts at Serendipity 3

The Wonder Wheel at Coney Island

Sara and Mandi on an empty subway car

All the girls in Central Park

The guy from 30 Rock filming a commercial outside NBC Studios

(Celebrities everywhere!)

On Broadway

OK, so it has been a little while since I've blogged.  It has been an eventful couple of weeks.  To start off, my friends were (and are) here!  My forced solo exploration of the city has ended which I appreciate.  It's nice to have people here that know me.

So over the 10 days that Kelley and Richard were back in Missouri, the following people all spent a little time with me in NYC: Lacey, Nick, Dusty, Sara, Drew, Mike, Mandi, Roy, David, Kelly, and Gentges.  Sara and Dusty were here that whole time which was awesome because they're basically my favorite married couple in the world.  Everyone else was here for anywhere from 2 days to 7 days, so I had a lot of people around me.  And Lacey and Nick live here now!  So exciting!  (This means that I force Lacey to hang out with me literally all the time.)

We did essentially every touristy thing you can do, including but not limited to the Brooklyn Bridge, Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Central Park, the UN, the Empire State building, the Financial District, Little Italy, Chinatown, Coney Island, and the Museum of Natural History.  We also ate at a different restaurant every day, ordered in a lot and walked more than I ever have in my life.  

The highlight of the week was definitely the 4 (yes, 4) broadway shows we saw.  They included Legally Blonde (surprisingly awesome), 13 the musical (the entire cast is under 15), the Lion King (too incredible for words), and Hairspray.  I am loving the Great White Way and since everyone left, Lacey and I went to see Spring Awakening as well.  It was my favorite so far although definitely darker.  All of this broadway has merely confirmed my theory that life would be at least 20 times more awesome if we lived in a musical.

Since everyone left, I've been easing back into the routine with baby Isabelle and still trying to pack in everything.  I had a slight panic attack when I realized I had been here for a month already and still feel like I haven't even made a dent in my list of things I must do before I leave.  But I still have time.

My favorite things so far:

1) Public transportation... I never want to drive again.

2) Sushi, sushi, sushi everywhere

3) The museums (so many more to see)

4) The Halloween craziness capped off by the parade down the street from the apartment... I don't even have words.

Love you all!

I Love Central Park

Another week in NYC is over.  It was a great week as I settled into the routine more and more with baby Isabelle.  She continues to be wonderful.  Here's a picture so you can all see who I get to spend my day with.It has also been really fun spending time with Kelley.  She's great and has shown me all around the neighborhood and given me all kinds of tips of things to do.  She's great to work with and is wonderfully sweet and flexible.  So, all in all, it has been awesome.

Last night, Kelley and I went out with Isabelle to this great family-style, authentic Italian restaurant for wine and appetizers which was delicious and a lot fun.  

This morning, I slept in again and ended up heading out of the apartment around 1:00.  I first walked South a few blocks and wandered through the Washington square market which is basically a ton of street vendors that set up on a street down near Washington Square.  After that, I decided to go uptown with a goal of seeing Central Park.

I hopped on the subway and decided to get off at 42nd and wander up from there.  So I wandered through Times Square, where there was another street market going on on 8th Street, a much larger scale than Washington Square.  I was excited to see that funnel cakes and kettle corn are nationwide treats.

Times Square was as gaudy and tourist-infested as it is always described but it was surprisingly fun.  I put away any attempts to look like a local because, let's be honest, there were no locals around anyway.  As I walked North towards the park, I saw Rockefeller Center and the buildings got fancier and fancier. I finally made it to the park and ended up spending the better part of the afternoon there.  It truly is an incredible place.  To have such a beautiful, huge park in the middle of such a huge city is crazy.  Here are some pics:

Beautiful... Can you believe this is in the middle of NYC?

Boaters on the Lake.

Toy motorboats with the city behind.

I finally left the park only because I was getting desperate for a bathroom.  But that posed a problem because I had walked really far uptown and there were no Starbucks, which is my default bathroom.  So I hopped on the subway and got off in Times Square again thinking that there would definitely be a Starbucks there.  Of course, there's like 9 every block.  I had to go in 2 before I found one without a crazy line.  

I ended up wandering back through the market on 8th Street because I had kind of skipped past it the first time.  It was crazy.  I ended up walking another 20 blocks or so before I got back on the subway and finally headed home.

It was a really fun day.  The weather was gorgeous and it was fun to go out by myself all day. However, I am extremely excited to know that in just a few days, Lacey and Drew will be here, followed by Dusty and Sara the next day.  I can not WAIT to see them and to get down to some real fun.  It will be awesome.

Much love.

Modern Art is Funny

Life in the city continues.  I'm hanging out in the apartment as Kelley and baby Isabelle are on their daily walk.  We're starting to get into the routine although babies are kind of exhausting. But we'll get it down.

Yesterday, I struck out to ride the subway for the first time.  Stacy had graciously invited me to come uptown and go the Museum of Modern Art with her and her friend, Breanne.  So, I found my subway stop, bought my metro card and headed off to meet them at Penn Station.  That was all pretty uneventful and I was feeling pretty awesome about my complete mastery of the entire city. (Entire city= the village and midtown).

It was fun to wander the 20 blocks up to MoMA.  Midtown is definitely different than my beautiful, brownstone lined neighborhood.  It's the true city, all big buildings and big crowds. But the MoMA was very fun.  Modern art is an interesting thing to me.  There were a lot of really cool things, like this set of Andy Warhol paintings:

But also a lot of really hilariously not art stuff, such as this pile of lint:And this floating gold foil cube:

Luckily, Stacy and Breanne both had very similar tastes in art as me and we spent a lot time mocking people who seemed to think these things were moving.  Breanne was hilarious, she's from Long Island and has an awesome accent.  And it was really fun getting to see Stacy again and hang out.

After MoMA, we went to this ridiculous burger joint inside Le Parker Meridian which is a super fancy hotel.  The burger joint is literally this tiny little room with a booth that sells only hamburgers, cheeseburgers and fries.  And it is delicious.  Only in New York will you find a dingy burger room inside a fancy hotel.  After dinner, we put Breanne back on the Long Island Rail Road and headed out to Brooklyn to see Stacy's place.  Her apartment was beautiful and it was again fun to hang out.  I rode the subway all the way back from Brooklyn by myself and although I got off a stop too late, made my way back without getting lost at all.  I'm feeling good.  

9 days until everyone gets here!  I'm so excited!  Hurry up!

M-I-Z...

I don't know why, but I am always particularly satisfied by beating Nebraska.  Go Tigers!

The Sassy Prepared Me for Real Life...

I spent all day today walking and my feet don't hurt at all.  I thank the many, many hours I had to spend on my feet in the Sassy for that.  Thank you, Sassy.  (And don't bother to comment that nannying and living for free in Manhattan is not real life.  I know that.)

Today was my first real day out in the city and it was everything it's cracked up to be.  I slept until noon which was AWESOME because my body has definitely still not adjusted to East Coast time.  The damn West Coast has ruined me.  Bummer about the morning was that I figured out that my phone wasn't working and since I just got it literally 5 days ago, I was mildly upset.  But Kelley told me that there was an AT&T store on 17th and 6th which would mean all I would need to do is turn right and keep walking.  So, off I went.

I found the AT&T store and went in and got my phone taken care of which always takes grossly longer than it should.  It's not even like I was in any kind of hurry but do they have to be so slow?  I don't understand.  Also, stores and stuff in New York crack me up.  Either they're 4 times bigger than anything you've ever seen (i.e. the 4 story Old Navy next to the AT&T store) or they're half the size with 4 times as many people crammed in (i.e. the AT&T store).  But the people were very friendly in the AT&T store, so that made me completely erase the stereotype that New Yorkers are rude.  I think they can handle my Midwestern desire to talk to strangers.  

After my phone returned to functionality, I headed straight for the Old Navy.  (Had to see that coming.)  Turns out Old Navy manages to stay cheap even in NYC.  It's a beautiful thing.  After that, I set out to wander.  I walked all over my neighborhood which was super fun.  I walked through a street bazaar.  I walked through a couple of parks.  I walked all around NYU.  I found LOTS of good stores.  I realized that tourists really do stick out.  I found the the movie theater. I found Trader Joe's.  And, most importantly, I found H&M.  It was great.  Also, I never once felt like I was lost or had to get out my map.  I think I've mastered the city (or the 20 blocks around where I live).

Tonight, Kelley took me down towards Bleeker St. and Washington Square which is a really cool area.  We ended up going to a comedy show which was in the basement of a techno club which was fun.  My personal favorite comic of the night was the guy who only got to go for like 5 minutes and had to spend most of the night getting people off the street to come see the show.  He just seemed sweet.  The rest of them were pretty vulgar but still got some good laughs out of me.  And it was really fun to get out.  Kelley's been great about showing me around and telling me about all the things that I have to try while I'm here.

I'm headed to bed and am going to meet Stacy and a friend of hers at the Museum of Modern Art (MOMA if you're cool) tomorrow which I'm very excited about.  This city is so fun!  Lastly, if you're reading this, pick up the phone and call me right now.  Do it.  I want to hear from you.  

Much Love.

More Life in the City

I've discovered a few things about babies in the little bit of time that I've been here:  grown adults (myself included) will do literally anything to get a baby to smile, the bugaboo is the coolest stroller out there, baby einstein is literally crack for kids (I already knew this one, but it has been reaffirmed), and life would be a lot simper if I could be entertained by a plastic ring dangling in front of me for an hour.

I also have developed a theory that babies live in warp speed.  Their days are like 4 hours.  They grow rapidly.  They do everything we do, just quicker.  I'm still working on the theory.  After I do a double-blind experiment of some kind, I'll let you know if it has any validity.  (I may have already forgotten everything I learned in research methods... Sorry, Dr. Fine... Like Dr. Fine reads my blog, but just in case.)

I've been in New York for about 50 hours now and it is pretty much what I expected so far.  It's a little more intimidating than I thought it would be, but I think that's because I've been fighting through the worst case of jet lag I've ever had which is weird for me.  Traveling doesn't normally bother me.  I think I may be getting old.  But Kelley and Richard are very fun and little Isabelle is adorable.  I had my first couple of hours alone with her yesterday afternoon (by alone, I mean Kelley was in the next room) and it went well.  She really is a sweet baby, so I think it's going to be a lot of fun.  I already love the neighborhood I'm living in and I'm already slightly addicted to a coffee shop called Ciao for Now (thank goodness Kelley is in the know.)

Today is the big day.  I'm going to finish typing this and then head out on my own and go exploring.  I have the map my mom sent me and the location of the nearest H&M, so I'm pretty much set.  I'm really excited for everyone to get here so that we can really have some fun.  I've been keeping a list of fun things for us to do and it's long already, so everyone should be pumped.  

To my fellow Canyonites, I miss you like crazy.  I've decided I'm going to be an avid texter, so everyone hop on board with that.  Liz, we probably can't text because you live in Africa.

Everyone else, hop on board.  I love you all!

New York, New York

I'm in NYC.  Talk about culture shock.  The departure from the Canyon was definitely odd.  I can't really imagine not seeing these people every day.  They are so much a part of my life now.   But it was easy to see the purpose of the year.  And turns out it is really kind of fun to be able to run to Starbucks whenever I want.  

We left the Canyon on Monday, after a very long night and early morning of cleaning.  I moved all my stuff up to storage, so they're not completely rid of me.  We had to be out of good ole' Condo 55 by 10:00 AM.  A bunch of the prop staff came to say good-bye which was really hard.  They're such solid people who cared for me so well.  But we said good-bye and hopped in the cars.  From there we made a stop all together at the A-Cafe in our beautiful town of Antelope, OR.  The messy good-byes happened there.  Luckily, I knew that I was going to see several of the interns within a couple weeks in NYC, so that made things a lot easier.  Also, the reunion is in December.  Still, it's weird.

From Antelope, I jumped in with Drew and headed towards Portland.  The drive to Portland is beautiful, along the Columbia River Gorge.  I spent Tuesday and Wednesday in Portland with Drew and her mom which was super fun.  We did things like get new phones, go to Ross and drink marguaritas.  It was great.  I had a midnight flight on Wednesday, so we decided to go out beforehand.  We met Nick and funny Chris whom I had never met at a bar called Henry's in downtown Portland.  We ended up all over the place Wednesday night and it was really fun.  It got me stoked for New York and, you know, actually going places.  As much as I love board games, it'll be fun to go out and be a real twenty-something for a little while.  Just a little while though.

Anyway, I had the red-eye and it was killer.  The loud lady who was really enjoying the in-flight movie was in my row.  I loved her.  She also yelled at me for putting the window up while we were landing because it was putting a glare on her TV.  And, although it's childish, I wanted to see the city as we flew in.  But whatever, I'm here, so I guess I'll see it plenty.  And you don't want to take on the lady.

I got to the city and found a taxi and said the street before the avenues just like you're supposed to and headed into the city.  I've been here a few hours now and am figuring out the routine with the beautiful baby Isabelle.  I'm dying to sleep but I want to fight through it in order to adjust to the east coast time.  3 time zones crossed.  Get used to east coast Kate.  

I have my cell phone back.  Call me!  Pictures will come soon.

I Hate Packing

Everyone should read my friend Liz's blog.  She's in Africa and that alone makes her life much more interesting than mine.  Also, she's the best storyteller I know.  As in, if this were Medieval times, she would be traveling around telling stories about dragons and princesses and stuff.  But instead, she writes a blog about Africa and aerobics classes.  It makes me want to move there. 

My time here in the Canyon continues to wind down.  We have a little less than 2 weeks left.  I just started packing.  My other roommates are all packed already, of course.  I have one box of books packed.  I'm sure anyone who knows me is not remotely shocked by my procrastination.  

The next couple of weeks are going to be packed with Canyon events which I am pretty stoked about.  It's a weird thing out here.  Summer is what this place is created for, the whole purpose of it.  You feel like you're doing the best work during the summer, the most important work.  But off-season is what makes this a great place to live.  We had a big pot-luck the other day to say good-bye to our old property manager and his family.  I was just looking around and kind of overwhelmed by they community and the way I fit in it.  It's such an odd group of people.  It spans the ages.  We have newborns to eighty-year-olds.  And the people are so different.  But it all fits together.  And people love each other and this place and this work.  I was struck by how unique it is to live in a place like this.  And how much I'm going to miss it, even though it was so hard.  

On the other hand, I am excited to leave.  I love a new adventure, and this one seems even crazier than the first.  Packing up my Blazer and moving out to the middle of Oregon was one thing, but leaving everything I own in Oregon and flying to NYC is another.  Also, I have no idea where I'm going after NYC.  But I'm pretty excited about that as well.  I'm going to be praying a lot and exploring a lot.  I want to know that I can be adventurous and rooted at the same time.  I'm not sure yet what that looks like, but I'll let you know if I ever get it figured out.  

Everyone get pumped because the one and only Denny Ryberg is headed to the Canyon this weekend to speak for the Oregon Leadership Weekend.  We'll probably hang out, shoot some pool.  It's whatever.

Peace and love. 

So Long Sweet Summer

Wow.  I can't believe summer is over and my time at Wildhorse is coming to an end.  I'm sitting in Sisters Coffee Co. right now, watching the pictures scroll on the background of my computer and feeling extremely nostalgic.  I can't begin to think of all I've learned and the ways I've changed this year.  I'll do a recap at some point, when the time comes that I'm willing to admit I'm leaving.  But for now I'll say that I'm leaving this place with more wisdom, less pride and a better knowledge of who I am and what I love.

This summer was seriously wonderful, although the absolute hardest thing I've ever done.  To give you a picture, I was working 80 hours a week and all of that was spent inside the Sassy.  I had 17 college-aged women that worked under me as volunteers over 3 summer sessions.  Every session was unique.  My first session girls were these beautiful messes, girls that were all on the brink of something big.   We spent about an hour every day doing devotionals, a time to hang out and talk about life and study the Word.  These girls were vulnerable from the first minute.  I loved getting in the middle of their lives, watching them realize that they loved serving.  It made me realize how much I miss leading.  It's such a cool thing to just be in someone's life as they work through these big turning points.  They were great.

My second session girls were the girls who had it together.  They were almost all leaders, all had been involved in Young Life.  They were fun too because I feel like the Lord gave me an opportunity to plant some vision into their lives of the power they have to make an impact on people's lives.  I have such a passion for this ministry and this kind of love and it was great to sit for a month and talk about that.  My second session girls were also hilarious and I had so much fun with their sarcasm.  Sarcasm speaks straight to my heart.  They also started a petition to get me to move to Bellingham, WA because that's where three of them live.  The amount of random people they got to sign it was pretty hilarious, although I don't think Bellingham is necessarily in my future.  

Third session was by far the hardest.  Our first 2 sessions are comprised of three 7-day high school camps.  Third session is comprised of six 5-day middle school camps.  Needless to say, it is an exhaustingly long session.  To give a picture, we have more kids come to Wildhorse during our one middle school session than any other Young Life camp has in their entire summer.  Also, I started out short one girl and another girl left in the middle of the session.  To top it off, we are ridiculously more busy in the Sassy during middle school than high school.  Turns out middle school kids love sugar.  But my girls were awesome workers and people poured in to help.  But this was definitely the session my relationships suffered the most.  I just didn't have any energy to invest in the lives of the people around me.  It was basically all I could do to keep going.  So it was really hard.  But the Lord teaches good lessons in hard times and that was definitely the case during third session.  

All in all, the summer was an experience I'll probably never be able to describe or relive.  Watching kid after kid pour into our camp and showing them extravagant love in a world that just writes them off as worthless was eye-opening and overwhelming.  To serve them with no chance of receiving glory for it was life-changing.  Talk about learning humility.  There are kids and moments from this summer that will stay with me forever.  Matt, the geeky weird kid, getting up to sing a song at the talent show and getting a standing ovation even though it was the worst thing I've ever heard.  Andrew, one of the disabled campers, laughing and dancing with his partner at the square dance even though he couldn't come close to keeping the rhythm.  Edgar, a Hispanic kid who had never been in the water, learning to swim from one of the lifeguards and spending the rest of the week going off the diving board over and over.  Schools finding unity where there used to be division.  Kids being kids when their lives normally require them to be adults.  I know it's just a week at camp, but I so believe that it can change lives and communities.  What a great job.

As for me, I'm headed out of the Canyon at the end of the month.  And from here I'm flying straight to New York City to nanny for the beautiful Isabelle, the brand new daughter of my step-sister and her husband.  I'll be there until the end of the year and then who knows.  But I at least have a few months figured out.  Expect a long stint in MO over the holidays and into the first of the year.  Also, please call/email me.  My life is considerably less hectic now and I would love to hear from all of you.

Much love.

1 Week Down, 11 to Go

Wow. I don’t even remotely know where to begin in order to catch people up on my life right now. We are now in the middle of our second week of Session 1. As anyone who’s spent time at a camp knows, the days feel like months. I feel like we’ve been at for so long already, but we’ve just started. And also, this session’s almost over. It’s slow, but flies by. That’s a weird thing.

It has been an utter surprise. I was prepared for the work, I was excited to have summer staff, I knew that I would be emotionally drained. And as prepared as I was, I was surprised the first week. The first week was great. We had such a diverse group in. We had inner-city Portland and rich suburbs, we had large groups of Hispanic kids, kids from rural Oregon, a group of Capernaum campers (YL’s ministry with disabled kids), Native American kids from the Warm Springs Reservation, and a group of deaf campers. What a crazy group, and something you would only find at camp!

It was so cool to watch these kids throughout the week. It’s such a privilege to work in the Sassy because all the kids come in and you get to learn their names and just see little pieces of their weeks. On the last night they were there, I was out in the Sassy cutting off the line. So basically, I was standing at the back of the line telling kids that we were closed and they couldn’t get in line. I was standing behind the craziest group of girls. It was 5 super preppy white girls and 3 tough looking black girls. I’d met all 8 of them throughout the week and wouldn’t have ever really put them together. But they had ended up in a cabin together here; they all go to the same school. And they had come to the Sassy that night to cash in a prize they had won at the volleyball tourney for a billy sundae. Standing in line behind them, they were talking about how they had all thought it was going to suck to have to share a cabin with each other and how they thought they would never get along. But then they all started talking about how wrong they had been and about how much they had loved getting to know each other. They were all crying and talking about how awesome it was going to be to go back home and just say hi to each other in the halls and at basketball games. I just kept thinking, that seems so simple but it’s something that could literally change their school, create love where there is division.

And there were so many more stories like that. Seeing punk street kids from Central Oregon learning sign language to communicate with the deaf campers. Watching the whole dining hall bust out in silent, hand-waving applause for one of the deaf campers when they won an award. Watching kids that came off the bus looking like they hated the world doing the cha-cha slide and going crazy at the dance. It is incredible what can be done in one week, when kids are surrounded by people that care for them and respect them and show them love. I love my job.

Aside from that awesomeness, my week was also awesome. My summer staff girls (Hannah, Lauren, Lindsey, Jenni, Natalie and Megan) are ridiculously great. They’re all super hard workers and the Sassy is running like clock work. It is hard to get that many people trained and to keep the whole thing flowing smoothly. We’ve had our bumps, but on the whole, I feel like all the prep work paid off and things are running smoothly. One of my summer staff girls is also deaf and that has been a really cool thing. I’ve really enjoyed learning to communicate with her. She’s really wonderful. There’s a couple of the girls that I really click with and feel like I’ve been friends with forever and all the girls are really sweet and a lot of fun. We’re working crazy hours, but they’ve had good attitudes and, most importantly, have been great with campers.

Needless to say, I’ve been an emotional wreck. It feels so good to be a part of this work, I think the Lord has designed me for it. So I’m loving it even when it’s super hard. I’ve also been doing my best to get to everything this week, so I’m trying to stay up right now in order to go to sports center night which is our new Gladiator-style carnival replacement. Same idea as the Carnival, but kicked up a notch. It’s supposedly a lot of fun.

Still don’t know what’s next after this year. Please be praying for a lot of guidance.

That’s life.

Even CRAZIER!

So, I thought my life had gotten crazy the last time I posted... I had no idea.

Turns out, the end of May is the most difficult time of the year. It is basically summer without any of the help. And we're trying to get everything done for summer, which starts in 2 weeks!!! That's crazy! To give you a picture, there are 11 different groups here in 7 days this week. So we're working non-stop. I've been putting in a lot of 12 hour days. And it is awesome! I'm loving every second of it, being completely exhausted and still finding it in me to do more. I really love working here.

Speaking of, something to be praying about. I have decided to send in an application for a job. I don't want to talk too much about it, because I'm not at all sure it's going to happen but I figure I'll send in an application and see what happens. I've had a lot of support from people here, making me feel like it could possibly be a good fit. But I don't want to get my hopes up and I'm just in the original application process, so we'll see.

Several of our new interns have arrived. It's a little weird, but they're all really fun. There is definitely a difference in attitude when you're a summer intern. This is their summer break, just something fun and exciting. This is our job with health benefits and a 401(k). So it's a little different experiences. But they're great people and it's been fun to get to know them.

We had our intern surprise the other day which was.... a trip to the shooting range! We have this awesome shooting range here on property that they use for groups and staff can use it. So, we had some competitions shooting clays. It took me forever, but I finally shot 2! And I got to throw the clays for a while which was pretty awesome. I'm a little addicted and really want to go again.

That's pretty much life right now. All I'm doing is working, so it's not really that interesting. But summer starts soon, that's when all the good stories will come!

Oh, and Prince Caspian review:

I did not love it. I had reread the book right before seeing the movie which may not have been the best move. It was a well-made movie, but it strayed a lot from the heart of the book. A lot of the characters were different and it was super Hollywood cheesy. But still worth seeing. I give it half a thumbs up.

Much love!

Canyon Life is Getting CRAZY

So it has been the most hectic past few days I have had in a long time, followed by the most relaxing day off possible today. This is when I start to really love the Canyon.

Starting Friday, the middle school group that was in checked out at 7:15 Friday morning, so we went in early and had an all-camp All Clean because our Wildhorse Family Camp was coming in Friday afternoon. It was super crazy because we literally had a couple of hours between camps. The families started arriving at like 1:00 in the afternoon but couldn't check into their rooms until 4:00 so it created a crazy schedule where we cleaned the quads last. Weird. It was a long and fast-paced day, but we got it all done.

Family camp is huge and super fun. Every room in both quads was used. It's completely like Young Life camp in a weekend. They have program, field games, the carnival, the dance, all the rides were open, everything. So in that respect it's awesome. Clubs were really fun, program was really funny, and it was really fun to see all the families around. All of our property staff families get to participate, so it was fun for them as well. The kids go crazy because it's their one chance to be campers. The other thing that was really fun was that I'm starting to recognize some of the faces that have been out here several times and getting to know the people on field staff here in the Northwest. They're really fun and it's just encouraging to feel like I know people.

With a camp of over 500 people in, I knew the Sassy would be crazy. I had been warned and prepared and had plenty of practice over the last 7 months. Still, I had no idea. The Sassy Saturday afternoon was CRAZY. I didn't stop moving for 4 hours. I had volunteers in that I had to train before we opened and they were great. Other staff jumped in to help. We had both windows open and lines at both all afternoon. At one point we had 8 people working in the Sassy and still huge lines of orders. It was overwhelming. It just hit that this is what every opening is going to be like in the summer. Crazy, crazy, crazy. And it means that my job changes a lot. I have to be the one running around, making sure everyone has everything they need and are functioning properly. I'm not necessarily great at that because I'm more task-oriented than big picture-oriented, but I can definitely handle. It was just that same feeling where you start a new job and the first 2 weeks you come home every day wanting to cry because you think there's no way you can do it. Then you figure out you can and it's easy. I'm going to patiently await the easy.

We were open again that night and I had all staff volunteers working with me because everyone else had to work the carnival. It was really fun, although I was exhausted. I didn't get to sleep until like 1:00 and my whole body was sore. The great thing was, I got to wake up the next morning and head to HK for another all-camp All Clean because again, we have a mid-week group that will be coming in early Wednesday and we're off Monday and Tuesday. So, we had to bust out both quads and all the perifs in record time. What usually takes us 6 hours in the quads needed to take us 4. It didn't. We ended up working until 6:15, exhausted and on little sleep. Not to complain though, it was really kind of great. I love the end of a day/weekend like that. I feel tired but weirdly energized because I did so much and pushed myself to do it well. I'm oddly excited for summer even though it is going to be so overwhelmingly hard.

After we got off work at 6:15, we ran home, changed, and went to float in the pool until the sun went down. I forgot to mention that it broke 100 degrees in the canyon this weekend as well. So not only were we working hard but we were drenched in sweat. And, what's even better than a shower after a day like that? Jumping in the pool! Cleans you right up.

This morning I woke up after some solid sleep and headed down to the pool. It was hopping because a lot of people have Monday off. We spent a few hours laying in the sun and then headed home and hung out. This evening we had a bonfire with Bill and Dena and played an intense game of wiffle ball that ended in a tie. After that, all the girls came over and watched Father of the Bride because Lacey had never seen it. And after that, Darren and I watched some West Wing. That is what I call a perfect day in the Canyon. It was beautiful, although I'm slightly sunburned. Totally worth it.

Tomorrow we're going to see Prince Caspian and getting dinner at Red Robin. I'm pumped! I will post a thorough review after.

Much love!

Warm Weather Always Makes Me Like Country Music

Seriously, what is it about summer that makes me like country? It's a weird thing.

I went home. It was awesome. That's all I need to say. I got to hang out with my family and friends, watch TV, shop, eat at restaurants, watch the Cardinals in HD and enjoy green grass, trees and rain. That is clearly awesome.

Heading back from Missouri, I ended up by myself in a 3-seat on the plane. It was incredible. And I was flying Southwest, who recently switched to general admission seating on their planes. So I was trying to judge how many people were in the waiting area and whether or not the plane would be full so that I could decide whether I wanted aisle or window. It creates a lot of stress for me. But I made the right decision and got to spread out and sleep the whole flight back to Oregon. It was glorious.

That was followed by an incredibly beautiful drive back to the Canyon. The drive from Portland to the Canyon is nothing short of breathtaking. If you get the chance to drive along the Columbia River Gorge at any point of your life, do it. And the sun was setting and casting the most incredible light. It got back to the Canyon just as I started to need headlights. It was perfect. Although, when I got back after 13 hours of traveling, my house was completely empty. I didn't see anyone until the next day, so that was a little bit of a bummer.

I've been in HK every day since because we didn't have a group over last weekend and the mid-week group that's in right now didn't have the Sassy open. The problem is that even though we have a million things that need to be done before our giant family camp this weekend, we can't do any of them because there's a group in. Which means that we're going into HK at 7:00 AM tomorrow and cleaning literally everything in camp. It's going to be crazy.

The good news is we got new slushie machines in the Sassy! Get pumped! Four flavors! Cherry, lemonade, java chip and vanilla latte! The bad news is we are WAY under staffed. We have more and more stuff opened which means everyone is spaced out. This is our biggest group and I have the fewest people working with me. I really don't know what it's going to look like. But I'm sure it will work out. If there's a line, there's a line. It's going to be CRAZY!

Life in the Canyon is good. The weather is incredible. I love it. We have these things called swamp coolers in lieu of air conditioning. I'm a little wary of them, but apparently they result in a quarter of the cost in energy bills and keep you just as cool. Which is exciting. But the phrase "swamp coolers" weirds me out a little.

Bryce is in Europe and I'm jealous.

I love you all!

Missing Missouri

That's the title of a Sara Evans song that came up on iTunes when I typed in "Missouri." Is that a weird thing to do? It's simply because I'm SO excited to be coming home. I'm widely know as "the Missouri girl" around here. Which I love. Hometown pride! Actually, it's a little weirdly obsessive. There are a couple of girls from Missouri coming out this summer on Assignment Team as Work Crew bosses and I totally geeked out when I met them. And then I told all the other interns that there were girls from Missouri here so every time one of them met them they exclaimed about them being from Missouri as well. I think they were really freaked out.

All that to say, I'm coming home! Tomorrow! I'm so excited to get out of the Canyon. I'm anticipating it will be a relaxing, refreshing 6 days. I think it is just necessary to get away every once in a while. It's really easy for things to become routine and mundane here. Our whole lives are here. I forget why I'm doing it sometimes. So I have to get away, go see people who love me and know me well. So I'm pumped.

The past few days have been great. I love spring. I woke up this morning and it was drizzly and awesome. It smelled like spring this morning. This weekend is our first family camp which is a really fun change of pace. Also, we have May Madness in which is a work weekend where people come in and plant flowers in all the flower boxes all around camp. I have asked Curtis like 20 times when we were going to get flowers back so this isvery exciting for me. And probably for him, so that I'll stop asking.

We finally finished Celebration of Discipline in small group. I could not be more stoked about that. Not that it wasn't good, but I was really sick of that book. We're starting a book called To Be Told by Dan Allender for the next 5 weeks. It looks like a really good book so I'm excited. After that, the summer interns will be here so we'll split up. I'm going to be in a group with Lacey, Drew, Becca and Deanna with Jen and Pam. Chris and Leah will have all the other girls in their group. All the groups are going to do a study on James. I'm excited about it although I'm going to miss the other girls.

If you're in Missouri, get pumped to see me because I'm pumped to see you!

Much love.

Is Anyone Else Always Paranoid They're Going to Sit in Dog Poop at Picnics?

This blog is in honor of Bryce and his brand new blog. I am officially a blog convert and believe that everyone should have one so that I could better stalk them. Also, Bryce named his blog after Jared Fogle, spokesman of Subway. Awesome.

NW boot camp left today and that ended our month of man camps. Thus begins family camp month. The men were fun, but I'm excited to get some different groups in. It gets boring have man camp after man camp. They're not quite as entertaining as middle schoolers. But they are less destructive, so again a trade-off.

It was a fun weekend because they were here an extra day so I worked Sassy all day Friday and Saturday. It's been a crazy week because we're getting all the new merchandise in the store all this week but Sara's off. So I've been helping out a lot on my time off, checking in and tagging and folding and all that other good retail stuff.

Check-out this morning was at 7:30 which means we went in at 7:00. But we took a half hour lunch meaning we were done at 3:30! Awesome! Also, since we were so backed up in the store and it was a fairly light day in HK, Jen let me stay and work with Angela in the store today. That means 3 days in retail this week! Woot woot! Although I have come to quasi-love HK. It's kind of a love-hate.

So, after work I had a flat tire. I mean, really flat, which is pretty common out here. I think I got a rock embedded in my tire. Unfortunately, AAA doesn't really work out here. Luckily, I'm an independent woman and my roomie Drew and I rocked it and changed it ourselves. Kristen tryed to go get the boys to help which I told her was lame. I knew we could totally do it and we did. I thank my mom for her example. I'm thinking specifically of her cool head and take charge attitude the time our garage flooded.

Tonight was our neighborhood block party. Actually, it was a stranded in the Canyon party. Our one road is closed the next few days in order to start the repaving process, so the Dillmans had a big pot-luck picnic to celebrate being stranded. It was so fun! Pretty much the entire property came. There was yummy food and 3 distinct groups: kids, "adults," and oldies. Scenes of every family reunion/church picnic/BBQ I have ever been to flashed into my head. Really, it was just great to have everyone together and hang out and enjoy the BEAUTIFUL weather. And we don't have to worry about disturbing the neighbors! I love this community.

After the party, Dan and I watched Sabrina (the Audrey Hepburn version), rounding out a fantastic day. Does it get any better than that? I don't think so.

Much love.

Today is Friday in the Real World

I know what day it is. And I don't wear prairie dresses... Craig.

All of you should know that my brother once hid a bat behind the bed and when he realized my mom was mad about it, he blamed it on me. She yelled at me and when I told her it was Craig, she yelled at me even more for lying. This is what I suffered in my youth.

Of course, when I say all of you should know something I mean Bryce and Craig himself because you're the only people who read this. So, really just Bryce because Craig already knew. So Bryce, feel free to be outraged on my behalf.

Man camp month continues in the Canyon. This weekend we have Northwest Boot Camp. It's not actually a boot camp at all. In fact, they spend most of their time indoors and having silent reflection time. So about as different from actual boot camp as you can get. It's actually some kind of John Eldridge weekend. The men love John. I'm sure they're talking a lot about being wild at heart (probably not so much about being captivating- that's for me and my kind).

What I do appreciate about this weekend is that they came for an extra day meaning they got here yesterday and also meaning I have an extra day in the Sassy. Although that also meant that it was the mother of all HK days yesterday. We had to clean everything. It wasn't that bad but I didn't get my random fun Friday afternoon projects. Jen promised me we could wash Triton (our HK truck) next week to make up for it. We just got a new car wash hose, so that will be fun. Also, I got to use the laminator today! This is the excitement in my life.

On a more disturbing note, I read an article on MSN that said we accidentally sent nuclear detinators to N. Korea when we meant to send them like batteries or something. I feel like that's a mistake we should be more careful not to make. The Pentagon guy quoted basically said "Whoopsie!" Then today I read an article saying that N. Korea has been building a nuclear reactor in Syria... I'm going on a search for a bomb shelter. I'm almost positive the baghwan would have secretly built one for himself somewhere on property. I will be moving in and will come out 20 years from now. Hilarity will ensue, just like Blast from the Past starring Brendan Fraser and Alicia Silverstone. See you in 20 years.

Maybe I'll turn my blog into political musings. I'll become famous like that Huffington Post woman. Hmm...

Let's be honest, I'll probably just keep talking about how we got a new safe in Sassy and how it was the best day ever because of it.

Coming home in 9 days!

PBA, My Dream

It's Friday night

And it feels alright

The party's here on the Westside!

It's the freakin' weekend baby! And I am excited for it. Springtime has sprung in the Canyon and that makes me really not want to be working, although today was a fun one. We had All Clean this morning, but only the MCL and one of the quads was used so it wasn't a bad one. I got to go the MCL with Jen, Kristen and Sara which made it feel like it wasn't even an All Clean at all. But I did do showers and vaccuum which are both kind of taxing in that large of a building. Then we had to do perifs today and get laundry started because the next group comes in on Thursday, giving us one less day to clean. It's getting intense!

Needless to say, I was excited to see the end of the day come. And even more excited because tonight was the Wildhorse Canyon Staff Bowling Bonanza. That's right, Wildhorse Canyon took over Madras Bowl. Really, the way this all came about is us talking to Erin frequently about how we should all go bowling and how they did it once and invited everybody and it was really fun. So Erin finally took charge, called the bowling alley, put up a sign-up sheet in the mailroom and patiently awaited responses. Turns out everyone was on board because a ton of people ended up signing up. I don't even need to say it, but it was a ton of fun. Lots of laughing, friendly competition, showing off my bowling shoes that I stole from Westgate Lanes when I was 16 and snooty bowling league people who get mad when you go the same time as them and yell too loudly. I ended the night with a high score of 131, not my best effort ever, but certainly not my worst. We also discovered that there's a singles bowling league... Hmm.... A trip to Safeway and DQ (where we again saw everyone we work with) finished off the night. Of course, I have picture evidence of the fun.

6 of 12 lanes overtaken by Wildhorse Staff Jen (whose bowling alias is Jan Qualman) and I...

You have to like anyone who has a bowling alias!
Kristen and I

It's a busy few days. Last night there was a big party for a couple of the women's birthdays and tomorrow night is a Mary Kay party that Lacey is basically guilt-forcing me and Kristen into attending. I hate Mary Kay parties but I like parties and Laceys, so I'll go and have fun chatting and making fun of how much Kristen is hating her life during it. Other than that, I will be doing a lot of relaxing and sitting in the sun. A trip to Maize is a must.

Go bowling in the next few days, I insist.