Saturday, June 13, 2009

Fake It Till You Make It

One of my biggest faults is my incessant need to seem like I know everything.  I hate it when a topic comes up in conversation that I don't know anything about.  Even though I rationally know that it's impossible for everyone to be conversant on every topic ever, it makes me feel ignorant if I'm not.

So, most of the time I fake it.  I really try not to because that just makes me feel dishonest, but it's a compulsion and I do it a lot anyway.  

Now that I've admitted that I do this often and it's not something I'm proud of, I'm going to pass judgement on my fellow (wo)man for doing the same thing.

The average person who comes into a coffee shop in Kansas City, MO doesn't really know the first thing about coffee.  There's a certain lingo that comes with a knowledge of coffee and most people don't really have it.  And they know they don't.

There are several responses to this:

1) Fumbling around with words like mochaccino and machiatto until we finally say, "Do you want the one with chocolate in it?  Do you want it blended?"  Normally it's an affirmative response to both of those questions.

2)  Memorizing the way to say one drink with the cool lingo.  These are the people who keep their phone to their ear while saying "Can I get a grande skinny macchiato?" and simultaneously throw their credit card at you.  If we want to out them, we ask if they want a traditional macchiato or the one with caramel and vanilla flavorings in it.  The answer's always a blank stare and the caramel one.  

3)  Giving up all pretense and simply explaining what you want.  One girl the other day asked if she could get something like hot chocolate with coffee in it.  I walked her through what is in a mocha and she went with that.  I appreciate her.

4)  The people who actually know what they're ordering.  Bone-dry cappuccinos, 2-pump vanilla lattes, Americanos with no room.  And every great once in a while, questions about our coffee blends, what roasts they are and origins of the beans.  These folks are great and I relish the chance to geek out a little talking about coffee.

As much as I enjoy talking coffee, I don't think it's weird if you don't know about it.  Until I became a barista, I had no idea what I was ordering, ever.  My drinks of choice were white chocolate mochas or chai teas.  I didn't know what espresso shots were or how many of them was a lot.  

And I was too embarrassed to ask my barista.  As a result, I probably got eyes rolled behind my back often.

The thing is, I could've asked the first time I went into a coffee shop and my barista would've probably loved taking the time explaining to me what the different drinks were.  Instead, I just faked it and often accidentally ordered things I didn't like.  

You miss out on the opportunity to learn when you act like you already know.  And that's a little tragedy in and of itself.  

*Note:  I've been watching a lot of West Wing the past week, so I'm combatting the urge to make my posts grandiose.  I apologize if it doesn't work.

Song of the Day: Criminal by Fiona Apple (all-time awesome)

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