I Want to Be Lorelai. For Serious.

The last like 9 posts on my blog have been serious.  Because, you know, I only post twice a year so it tends to be kind of introspective.

But today is a day of change!  Or, I'm a day early to something called the camping summit and I have no work to do.  Seriously, I don't know how it happened but I have nothing.  No emails.  No calls to make.  I could work on some projects but that's just a hassle on my travel laptop.

So, I post instead.

And while I've caught my blog up a little on what is going on in my life (i.e. nothing new), I have not caught it up on what's going on in my pop culture life.

I still watch the bachelor.  I've been reading a ton of books. Celebrity gossip is coming fast and furious.  All Shonda shows are my jam.

But, most importantly, I have become ardently re-obsessed with the Netflix release of Gilmore Girls.

Seriously, binge watching can't even describe it.  I've been watching.  And watching.  And watching.

It's bad.  I'm unproductive.  I was sick the other day so I took off work and watched an entire season.

But it's good.  Because it's Gilmore Girls.

OK, here's the truth.  I watched this show when it was on and I loved it.  Then my roommate in college had it on DVD and so we would watch episodes again.  And I loved it again.

However, I have gone back to watch several shows like this (Dawson's Creek, Party of Five, 90210), and they just don't hold up later.  I watched a season of Dawson's on netflix and then I got bored.  And I was crazy about that show.

But Gilmore Girls?  Ruining my life.  

And worse than anything, I'm in the middle of season 5 which means all the last episodes I watched were Lorelai and Luke in their prime actually dating and having a functional relationship episodes.  It's sad how happy it makes me.

And Rory's at Yale!  And Christopher hasn't ruined everything yet! And they opened the Dragonfly!

I spent some serious time the other day thinking about how I kind of am like Lorelai.  Small town, I want to own an inn some day, there is no local diner but I know my Safeway Starbucks baristas (no romantic interest, but I did get invited to one of their baby showers).

Also, I may or may not have dreamed about Gilmore Girls the other night.

So, yeah.  I'm feeling a little crazy.  But I just went to youtube to see if there was a good video to put in this post to show you why it's so awesome and I found people way crazier than me who have made tribute videos to Luke and Lorelai.  I feel much better about myself. So, see!  Blogging is therapeutic.

Song of the Day: Reflecting Light by Sam Phillips (bonus GG fan points if you know what this song is from!)

The Smartest Thing I Do is Steal

As I get older, I realize that I have sayings.  Small things that I believe and I use to guide my life.  I don't really know where I got them.  They're just little pieces of wisdom that are probably a conglomeration of a bunch of things that a bunch of different adults said to me at some point in my childhood.

If you work hard enough, you can do anything.

Dress for the job you want.

When in doubt, smile.

People should never kiss on national television.  (I actually remember where this one came from.  My grandpa did NOT approve of Saved by the Bell.  I've absorbed it into my life to mean don't go on reality TV.)

But the one I've been thinking about a lot lately is this:

Choose your friends wisely.  You will eventually be like them, even if you don't want to be.

I got this advice over and over in a million different ways growing up.  And sometimes I listened to it.  But a lot of times I didn't.  Because I wanted to sneak peach schnapps in my friend's basement and make out with that boy my parents never met.  

And you know what, it was fine.  Because the truth is, my friends just didn't matter that much.  I don't mean they didn't matter as people and I certainly don't mean that stupid decisions inspired by them couldn't have derailed my life.  But, I do mean that there was a whole host of influence when I was young.  My friends were one of them, but so were my parents, and my siblings, my teachers, coaches, leaders, church, town.  The list could go on.

That piece of advice has stuck with me though.  And it just gets more and more true.

I have incredible friends.  As in, I'm ridiculously lucky to be surrounded by the people I'm surrounded by.  They are faithful, loving, and true.  They are strong and inspiring.  They are my tribe.

And now more than ever, I'm starting to look like them.  

It's so weird.  Because now more than ever, I'm not trying to be anyone else.  

But, at some point along the way, I got smart.  I realized that I had some choices about my life.  I realized that I could decide whether I was going to be lonely, I could decide whether or not I wanted to keep growing, and I could decide who I wanted to be.  

I formed a tribe.  I invited people into my life.  I have found that it is much harder to be lonely when you've invited people in.

I made sure that the people I invited were seekers.  You can't stay stagnant when your people are asking questions.  We grow.

And I invited people that I wanted to steal from.  Because yes, I get to decide who I want to be.  But I make those decisions by looking at the people around me and straight up stealing their good things.  I watch, and I take.  Debbie's faith, Miriam's warmth, Emily's joy, Christen's compassion, Abigail's strength.  I make them a part of me.   

I have a tribe.  The smartest thing I ever did was fill it with people I want to look just like.  

Thankful for them today.

Song of the Day: Like Real People Do by Hozier

Just Because I Need It...

I'm heavy-hearted this morning.

Nothing happened.  My life is fine.  Good even.  I'm happy and content.

But I woke up and read an update on the Nigerian school girls that were stolen from their school.  Stolen like pieces of property.  It was 5 months ago.

And when it happened, there was this beautiful collective outrage.  There was this moment where the world cried out, a loud and firm, "No.  No.  NO!  We will not stand this.  We will not be quiet."

And I was proud.

That was 5 months ago.

And those girls are exactly where we left them.  Property.  Stolen.  When they should be learning and playing.  When they should be dreaming about all the things they're going to do.  When they should be allowed to still believe that they belong to themselves.  

And then Patty Griffin's Up to the Mountain came on Spotify in my office.  

And I cried.  Because I have a cozy office and a sense of security and so much control of my own life.  

And I felt broken.  Because these girls don't get these things.

And I felt tired.  Because I believed for a moment that a hashtag could mean something. 

And I got mad.  Because things like this make me not believe and, oh, I want to.

5 months.  And a heavy heart.  And a futile blog post.

Just because I need it.